Quarantine with children

Before Covid-19 hit,  none of us would have ever imagined we would ever be shut in a hotel room with our family for two weeks in quarantine. Nevertheless, I recently had the joy of spending two weeks on the 62th floor in two connecting rooms with my husband and four children.

I decided to share my learning from this experience. Particularly because many parents facing the same situation, are worried how they and the kids will cope spending so much time together in such little space…

When I the door locked to that room, I spent a few hours in a total mode of panic! I couldn’t breathe properly and and I walked up and down the floor condemning every civet cat and bat in China! I just had to blame someone for my misery! As there were no civet cats nearby to neither punch nor kill, I decided to take a nap. In the hindsight, I would recommend people to skip the blaming stage and simply just take a nap…

So how did I go from wanting to kill civet cats to surfing the two weeks?

Below are some of my thoughts on how to get through hotel quarantine with children. They are purely my methods and ways of doing it. They are by no means organic and healthy, nor the right way for everyone else. You may get an idea or two if you end up in this situation. Or you may read this and decide how you won’t do it. Regardless, thanks for reading and putting up with my quarantine brain dump.

Make a routine

Having a routine helped all of us a lot. The kids understand a routine and they argue less if they have to do reading or exercise, simply because they are used to doing that every day at that time. So help yourself and your kids by having some kind of structure to your day.

I am on purpose not sharing our routine, as you may just as well call social services and turn me in for the amount of TV time we incorporated into our routine! Besides, you should do a routine that fits your family and what you like to do.

The idea is to get some kind of daily schedule. This breaks the day into chunks and makes time pass faster.  In our case I applied the ‘carrot / stick’ approach to get the kids and husband to keep up with the routine. For instance, we had a treadmill, and each child had to do 5km a day on that in order to get any sweets or Ipad time.

These are the elements we had in our routine: sleep, eat, exercise, boardgames, TV, Ipad, alone time for each individual, bath, reading, art and craft, massage salon (basically make the children massage your legs after a run or do your hair)….

Its important to like your routine, if you don’t like the one you have, then change it. This is not the time to put up with something you don’t like. It’s not the time to force yourself to do 6am yoga, if you prefer to wake up at 10am and drink coffee for an hour

Manage expectations

I had it all in my head. The kids were going to catch up on math in the morning, then in the afternoon we would sit and write essays on Ancient Rome and the life cycle of the turtles. Books would be produced with creative illustrations – full of information that would make my kids incredible smart. In fact after this quarantine they would be able to skip an entire school year due to mummy’s quarantine home school.

Fast forward two weeks.,,,,, The kids did not even open a math book . They did zero online learning of any sort – nothing! If anything, they may have lost knowledge. In fact they may have to repeat their last school year just to get their level of intelligence back up to what it was pre quarantine.

Truth is, neither the kids nor I, had the energy to argue about online learning. You are on survival mode, and on that mode it is next to impossible to establish any quarantine home schooling programme. You need to manage your expectations, both with regards to your kids, but also yourself. Finding the energy to battle with the children to learn the times table or write about the habitat of polar foxes, is just so incredible difficult.

Each child is different

It is important to acknowledge that you can’t just take a blueprint schedule or activity program and impose it on your child.

What works for one child, will not work for the other. In order to make the quarantine experience as smooth as possible with children, it is vital to acknowledge what type of child you have.  Some children bounce off the walls and other can sit and do colouring in for hours. Some thrive by learning, others do so when they are creative.

Sit down and think about what your child(ren) love to do and plan your activities accordingly.

Lastly, don’t expect them to start playing together for hours upon end. If they play well on a normal basis, they are likely to do the same in quarantine. If they don’t gel at home, then I’m afraid its even worse when they are locked in a room together – just saying!

In our case we quarantined with four children aged 11, 10, 7 and 4. Each of them are extremely different characters. This meant I had to come up with very different daily activities for them.

My son is seven and loves Lego. He can build for hours. Hence, I bough the Lego Star Destroyer from Star Wars, this is a huge lego set. Assembling it took 11 days and my son pretty much only did that every day on his own.

My four year old daughter does an activity for a maximum of 20 minutes. This was quite challenging, as I had to facilitate a million different art and craft activities. Many of which, I ended up doing whilst she gave me instructions. I guess not all kids can just sit and do lego for hours upon end:)

My ten year old loves art and craft. So I stocked up on ‘paint by numbers’ and 10kg of clay! The clay was a huge success, as the other children also joined in making clay figurines.

My 11 year old loves reading, easy peasy – kindle for her. And then the odd game of chess when I didn’t have my hands full with either clay or paint.

Use your friends

If you are returning to your home country and have a batch of friends out there, then my biggest advice is to use them! You are lucky to return home and can make use of having people who offer you to bring stuff.

Yes, everything can be ordered online! But there is nothing like a surprise meal from a friend. My happiest evening was when my tennis buddy dropped off chips and falafel as a surprise. Its the best falafel I’ve ever had.

Many people say ‘just let me know if you need anything’. At the beginning I simply told them I had averting I needed. But after 5-6 days I ran out of energy. I felt a bit sorry for all of us, not least myself. So I took those friends up on their offer ‘yes, if you could drop off some cut fruit and a board game, that would be great’!

These surprise drop offs will cause huge excitement with your children and yourself. It is honestly a bit depressing if the only delivery you get is the hotel food…

Minimise ‘no’ when in quarantine

There are times for battle and there are times for peace.

Quarantine is time for peace. It is time for closing your eyes to certain things. Yes my kids ‘accidentally’ eat a few extra biscuits that I had saved for another time. And yes, they experimented with paint and I spent two hours cleaning the balcony tiles because they had painted themselves and made body prints all over the balcony! I did see this was happening, but they were laughing and having a great time. At home I would have stopped it, old them off…. But to be honest, there is far between the laughs in quarantine, so why stop them if they are having a great time. And on the plus side, I spent two hours cleaning. That is time spent on something.

We had a ‘yes day’ half way through quarantine. Parents could not say no to the kids. My children had begged for such day for a long time, so I figured it was great to do it in quarantine, as it minimised  how much we actually had to say yes to.

The children spent the first week looking forward to this day. And they truly enjoyed a day with Grab food deliveries, and countless hours on the Ipad and TV.

Exercise

Whatever you do you must include exercise. There is so many ways to do this. We had a treadmill and made our 7, 10 and 11 year old kids walk 5-7km a day! My four year old walked 2km a day.

It doesn’t have to be a treadmill, but  this worked for us as they could watch the iPad whilst walking. Its all about incentive…..

You can also do just dance, yoga, aerobics….. Anything is absolutely perfect. But if you don’t do exercise, the mood will simply drop and everyone will become restless. Beside it is great way of breaking up the day. Each person have their own little exercise tradition. Two of my kids walked before lunch, two after lunch and I did my exercise late PM. When ever you do it and however you do, get the pulse up and sweat a bit. Healthy body, healthy mind.

Stock up on emergency treats

Your mood will go up and down when you are in quarantine with children; this is no different to the your normal life. You have good days and you have bad days.

The main difference is, you have less to lift you up when you are in quarantine, because you can’t do what you would normally do outside to feel better. This is why it is super important to give yourself and the kids something to look forward to, and have little things hidden in the back of the suitcase to pull out on those days where things look a bit dark.

I packed a massive secret bag of sweets from Denmark.  one day when all the kids had been fighting, I pulled it out out of the safe where I had locked it up for days. When I suggested a movie with Danish sweets the mood totally changed. We were back to being a family unit doing something exciting and positive. Saved by 150DKK of ‘bland selv slik’ from Rema!

Whatever it is, it is just important to give yourself some highlights. Something to look forward to. Something that gets your mood a notch up when it is down.

Be good to yourself

I won’t lie, it isn’t easy to quarantine in a small space. There is nothing joyful about it. However, I think the biggest learning I took from our experience is to simply take it easy.

Don’t do the blaming game. I spent hours blaming the civet cats, but who knows, perhaps they are innocent!?

Do yourself a favour by not expecting too much of neither yourself nor your children. Make a routine that works for you. Treat yourself to some take away food and some Netflix. Let the children make a mess and eat an extra biscuit.

Time passes faster than you expect, and soon enough the door will open the the world outside. Once out you may even wish you could go back in and do a day or two in that hotel, just to chill for a while!

Note to everyone who read to the end. Theresa is now out of quarantine and her sanity had been restored. If you wish to book in for a session either for your family or your children, feel free to contact me any time

What to wear for my photo session?

I get this question over and over again. What to wear for my photo session? And by right it is very important to question to ask! Those portraits will be hanging on your walls for years to come, so it is quite important that you look and feel your absolute best. This blog details a few hints an idea on how to decide what to wear for your photo session

The first question to ask your self is what colour you will be wearing, or what colour theme you want. 

Deciding on a colour seems so simple, yet it can be so daunting. Read on, to get a few hints on how you can find a colour that fits you. 

Individual portraits – what to wear:

If you are doing individual portraits, for instance you have booked a Women’s Beauty Session then you pretty much have free reins in what colours to wear, as you don’t have to consider matching other family members. 

Hints for picking your colour and outfit for individual portraits: 

• Wear colours that suit you. Most people have a good idea about which colours suit them, and consciously or subconsciously have those colours as the main part of their wardrobe. Or you can go for a colour analysis (more about this later) to get help determining what colour you are. 
• Have a ‘safe option’ – a colour that you love and often wear. Of course you can also have fun and try different colours and dresses from the studio wardrobe after. Sometimes you will be surprised what looks good on you. But make sure you have your safe option!
• Pick a cut and a style you are comfortable with. Don’t pick something with too low cleavage or short skirt (unless you are going for that look). If you like to cover your arms, cover them. Do what makes you comfortable. 
• Don’t buy new outfits or dresses the day before. It is better to be photographed in clothes you have worn before, so you are sure you are comfortable in them.

Family portraits – what to wear:

If you have booked a family portrait session or a mummy and me session, then you need to decide on outfits for all of you. This is something most people find very challenging.

Many sites and photographers recommend ‘jeans and white tops’ or ‘all neutral’ (beige, cream, white). And of course you can’t go wrong if you do that. It is a safe option for sure. And it is definitely better than not being colour coordinated! If you have a lot of people in the portrait and you stress about them not bringing the colour you ask them to, then wearing white tops can be the solution

You can also spice up the white top look by closing a bit of an eye catching background colour. This works really well to spice up an image where people are all dressed in white.

However, you can do so much more with colours to create an incredible harmonic family portrait. It looks absolutely amazing when people are colour coordinated but not identical. Matching colours is an art and requires some planning and thinking. But when it is perfected, it is absolutely beautiful, and nothing beat a colour coordinated family portrait.

Pastel colours are great. Or you can go beige, gold, bronze….

Personally I love contrasty colours and when mastered it creates an incredible powerful portrait

Where to start when deciding the colour theme for my photo session:

I suggest you start with yourself (assuming that 99% of people reading this are women/mothers). Decide on a colour that you like and that looks good on you, then fit the rest of the family members around that colour scheme. 

Lets say you pick a warm blue, then children and husband should match that. By matching, I mean finding tones that compliments your chosen colour. And example could be blue and yellow which is very complimentary  

Or perhaps you have a lovely orange dress you want to wear, in which case you can consider an autumn scheme of colours for the entire family.

Hints for picking your colour and outfit for group and family portraits: 

• Start by looking what you have in your wardrobe and built it up around that. Pick one base colour that you love and add colours. You can find lots of ideas here https://coolors.co put in one colour and the site will suggest matching colours. 
• Less is more. If you don’t know how to complement different colours. Just keep it simple. Go for 2-3 shades of the same colour, like all in blues or all in pastel. 
• By new outfits in advance. Wear them before the shoot, to make sure everybody are comfortable. 
• Make sure all clothes fit. Discomfort is shown in the face immediately. 
• If you have kids, discuss with them what they will be wearing (Yes, I have witnessed quite a few meltdowns by kids that refused to wear the new dress mummy bought for the shoot)!
• NO logos or big print on clothing
• Block colours are best, too many patterns and flowers in family portraits is very overwhelming. 

What colour suits you?

Finding a colour that suits you is not that simple. Most people I know have a colour they think suit them or a favourite colour. However, there is so much more to colours than a ‘favourite colour’. 

I recently went for a personal colour analysis with Jo Watering, the owner of Colour Capsule in Singapore. Jo is a colour expert. It is her job to help people find their ideal colour scheme. 

I went for my colour analysis, determined that I am a ‘blue person’ and as long as I wear blue, I am fine. However, within an hour with Jo, I had learnt that I am in fact what the professionals call ‘warm spring’. yes, there are shades of blue in ‘warm spring’ but there are so many other shades and colours that fit me. Colours that I have never considered as ‘mine’. But colours that do in fact look great on me.

101 colour theory:

To be added

I got the colours sorted, now what

If you got the colours sorted, you are 90% done. It really is the hardest part. And if you struggle with it, I would recommend you to check out what Jo Watering can do for you. Your colour won’t ever change, so if you have one consultation helping you to find your colour, it will benefit you for the rest of your life, and make clothes shopping so much easier. 

You got your colour, all you have to do is find an outfit. And please please start with your own wardrobe. There is a very good chance you have an outfit with your chosen colour, and there is no need to give more support to the clothing industry just because you got for a photoshoot. As said earlier, it is about the colour and feeling comfortable. NOT about the brand and new clothes. 

Although if you want an excuse to get a new dress, then absolutely tell your husband that Theresa told you to get it for the shoot 🙂

Pick something that fits you 

I very strongly recommend you to were something you feel comfortable in. Don’t think you can suck in the tummy for the entire shoot. And if you are conscious about your legs, then don’t wear a mini skirt. 

I can of course photoshop you, but that is not the purpose of the shoot, and no matter how much I photoshop your tummy or your legs…. Your facial expression will 100% show you are not comfortable. And then what is a flat photoshopped tummy, if you look uncomfortable?

Ask Theresa for help

It is in my very best interest that you feel good about your colours and outfits. I am very happy to advice and would love to see what you the chosen before the session, as it helps me prepare for the session. Send me a screenshot of your colour theme and lets chat about it!

There is also a good chance I can help you with the dresses for ladies and girls. 80% of the dresses worn in the portraits in this post are from my studio wardrobe! So feel free to come and check out what I have and have a chat about your shoot.

Why only 20 images?

I get the question over and over again. Why do we only get 20 images to select from? This comes with other questions such as; how about the unedited images…?

Can we select some from the unedited files? Where is the rest of them? We are fine with unedited images,  just send them over!

It often leads to question about pricing. “why would we pay you $1299 for 20 images when we can get 200 images from someone else at $199”?

If you continue reading, you will get a better understanding of the value of 20 images. And if you don’t see the value of them, then there is absolutely no obligation to use me as your photographer. The market is saturated with photographers, all at different prices and different quality. 

Generally you get what you pay for.

Back got the 20 image question!

The short answer to the question is: Because every single one of those 20 image are perfect.  I am a fine art portrait photographer. I shoot for your walls. I do not shoot for your hard drive. What I create is to be enjoyed every day for decades. Not to be lost on a hard drive in a couple of years. 

The longer answer to the question is here:

PLANNING

All my portraits are planned beforehand (style and colours). You let me know what style you like, what colours you like and who you want to bring for your session. A lot of time goes into planning a portrait even before it is taken. An in person pre session consultation is included for all my sessions. This means 1-2 hours planning your session together at my studio. Time that I do not charge for, it is included in the final image price. 

POSING

I am highly trained in posing people. Whether it is family portraits, men, women, children or babies, I will guide my model through every single aspect of posing. It takes a lot of skill to pose people so they look their best and at the same time look natural. This skill is something I have learnt through years of practice and through numerous courses and expensive 1-2-1 mentoring sessions.  Yes there is such thing as posing mentoring:)

LIGHTING

Light is everything. It literally is such a bit part of an image. If not done correctly, the image simply won’t work. Every single one of my images have impeccable light setups. These individual setups are thought through lighting setups that suit the person I am photographing. I do not use a ‘one light fit all’. Often during a session you will see me change light setups, test lights, do modifications etc to get that perfect light that suit my model. Again I have spent years perfecting my lighting knowledge so I know which light to use for all types of portraits. And yes you guessed right, more 1-2-1 mentoring on lighting with some of the best portrait photographers in the UK.

 

SELECTING

Of course I take more than 20 images. After the session, during my selection process, I pick the best images for editing. I look at composition, lighting, posing, expression etc etc. It can take more than an hour to select 20 images from 200 images. And trust me, I do select the best ones! Firstly, because I don’t want anything less than perfect to my name. Secondly, I want you to like it, so why would I not show you the best?

EDITING

Don’t even get me started on the topic of editing. Your shoot may take 2-3 hours, but it takes so much longer to edit those images. This is because I edit to perfection. I can spend 20 minutes  alone on the background of an image, as I am extremely fuzzy about how I want it to look. Then comes all the retouching of the model. And no, I do not change the way people look what so ever. But it does take a long time to remove stray-hair, retouch skin, enhance colours etc. Then comes the tricky family and group images. There is always someone who closes their eye or look the other way. In this case I swap that persons’ head from another image, in order to get the perfect family portrait with everyone looking their best.

If I gave you more than 20 images to chose from, you would get a bunch of unedited images. Images where you can see the light stand to the left. Images where you are blinking. Images where your toddler is screaming his head off. You would have the choice of image A: mum and dad looks amazing, but toddler is screaming. OR image B: Dad and toddler look amazing, mum is closing her eyes and her foot is out of the frame…. By selecting 20 images I make the job easy for you. I only show you perfect images. In this case I would have merged the two images so all three of you look perfect.

How much wall space do you have?

Lastly, there is the space issue! I shoot for your walls. I only sell prints and wall art (I gift you the corresponding digital high resolution copy when you buy a print). Why do I do this? Because I want you to display your portraits! You have paid $1299 for 20 portraits. I have spent 25-30 hours creating them. Therefore, I want them on your wall! And do you have wall space for more than 20 images? Unless you live in a large house and decide to dedicate all your walls to these portraits, then chances are, you even have to select a few from the 20 you want to display. You simply don’t have space to display all of them. 

A photographer for every budget

As I mentioned above, there is a photographer for every budget. There is a photographer for every taste. I may not be the photographer for you. If you want 300 unedited images for $199, then I am not for you. In fact if you want unedited images, I am not for you.

If you want to chose between 20 perfect portraits, then I am for you. You don’t need to pick all 20. I will show you 20 portraits, beautifully printed and displayed at my studio for when you come for yout your viewing and buying session. It is totally up to you which ones you want to purchase. There is no hard sell, I only want you to get the ones you are in love with. However, most people fall in love with them all, so there is a good chance you will too.

If you want to read more about how my sessions work and everything I can do for you please read here

And my full pricing can be found here

 

 

Elaine Friedlander  – Founder of Nüwa

Let me introduce you all to an amazing lady: Elaine Friedlander. She is not only a very good friend of mine, she is also one of Singapore’s top female entrepreneurs. She is the founder of Nüwa, an amazing network for artists within Singapore. This makes Elaine a leading figure within the Singapore art world. Besides, she is an amazingly fun and clever lady. Oh and she also has three small kids a no helper! Yes she is a wonder woman:-)

Nuwa is a truly amazing organisation that ties together all professional artists in Singapore in an incredible network. Elaine and her staff arrange frequent talks and networking events all over Singapore. In record time, Elaine has established a rapidly growing network of artists from a diverse range of fields from opera singers, to painters and jewellery makers. She even has a job database for artists and people in the cultural sector. 

Random circumstances – a friendship is made

About 6 years ago my family and I went for a brunch at the Saddle club. It was a hot day, but as usually the kids wanted to play on the playground. As I stood there panting in the shade with my 2 month old in my arms, I looked across the playground. There I spotted a heavily pregnant woman climbing up and down the slide with her kids. My initial though was to look away. Don’t make eye contact! I though it was an act of insanity to climb up and down the slide with that bump in that heat. No no not for me!

Minutes later said insane lady wobbled across the playground and said hello! That was the beginning of our friendship. 

We found out we were neighbours and our daughters were more or less the same age. Just days after our first meeting we were hanging out as best friends. Kids played together and I did Elaine’s maternity images followed by newborn portraits of her third child. I am not going to share those portraits here. They are Elaine’s personal images. However, here is a couple of some recent headshots I did for Elaine. These shots were a pleasure to do, simply because I know Elaine so well. It is always easier to do someone’s portrait  if you know their personality a bit. 

As you can see, the only way to portray Elaine is as the smiley warm colourful person she really is. 

 

 

You never know when you meet again

It was with great sadness I left Elaine behind when I moved to the UK with my family just 6 months after meeting her. As things sometimes go, we lost touch, as life in the UK was rather busy with three small kids and very little help. Meanwhile Elaine was as busy in Singapore with three small kids and no help:-)

When we moved back to Singapore late 2017, I messaged Elaine (same number as usual:) telling her we were back and ready for a coffee and a 4 year overdue catchup!

We met up with al the kids (now 7 of them between us). It was as if we had seen each other yesterday. We certainly didn’t look or feel four years older. Hanging out like the good old times. 

The only thing that had changed were our topic of conversation! We had both moved from the yummy mummy stage to the business woman stage.  Now both entrepreneurs with each our company. No more chats about potty training, weaning and sleepless nights. We still don’t sleep at night, but now it is not due to the kids, now it is due to our work and businesses:-)

Business ladies

Whilst I had been away Elaine had started her own company Nüwa, which is a professional membership organisation for artists and professionals working in Singapore’s arts and culture sector. Nüwa aims to inspire and connect people within the arts sector and beyond. Nüwa also strives to affirm the role of artists in society by sharing best practice, guidance and insights amongst artists. Members can enjoy regular networking events and talks witch take place through out Singapore. 

It truly is an amazing organisation and Elaine deserves a lot of respect for solely setting it up and managing now a rapidly growing organisation, whose members span from painters, to opera singers, TV presenters, authors and illustrators. 

It is true to say Elaine is a hidden gem. She has been such an inspiration to me. First in my journey as a mum, (Elaine juggles kids, cooking, cleaning and general organising whilst having relaxed conversations with anyone), to my journey as a business owner (Elaine organises events, speeches and networks like there is no tomorrow)

I hardly ever advocate anyone or anything. But if you are an artist  or someone with an interest in Singapore’s cultural sector, do check out Nüwa’s website there is so much to gain from being a member.

Elaine Friedlander – you are a star! An inspiration and an amazing friend.